- had breakfast with Lily in her cubby outside (view from the cubby, looking outside in the photograph above).
- sat in a tranquil garden by myself, surrounded by the smell of spring. I smelt Azaleas, reminding me of the tending of an old-fashioned garden - like my late-Pop's. I smelt real roses that have a perfume that makes you sigh - the colour red, like a Mr Lincoln.
- wrapped Lily tightly in a warm blanket and nursed her like a newborn, after she came out of surgery distressed. I felt the power of the love between a mother and a daughter. When Lily came out of the anaesthetic she was confused and screaming for her Mummy. The nurses came and got me and as soon as I held her, she stopped. Her little body relaxed and she went back to sleep in my arms. I patted her. I had a moment, a revelation, I felt so lucky. Our love for each other, our knowledge of each other, is instinctive - no words are needed. I have lived knowing the love of a child.
This week I ...
- let a handful of significant people into my life - almost physically feeling the accommodation and transition. I let go, let my guard down and realised their extreme loyalty to me and consciously accepted them into my inner circle. I resist intimately taking 'new people' into my personal and immediate world because each being requires; tending, love, water, sunlight and nourishment. I am aware that my time and energy only allows me to nurture a select few close friends. My priority is raising my family. As I get older the friendships that I forge are fewer, but stronger.
-laughed loudly and deeply, expelling sorrow and tiredness, breathing sunshine and colour into my soul.
- was affected monumentally by the depth of kindness, protection and support offered by my friends.
- took steps to alter my life and well being in 2011. I created a plan that suits me, enabling me to achieve a level of fulfillment, creativity, balance and harmony in my life next year and for the remainder of this year.
- scratched the surface and found profound joy.
What a beautiful post Tracey - I love the way you write and express your thoughts. Hope poor Lily has recovered after her surgery - it's funny how motherhood and the feelings that come with it can take over so strongly and instinctively. I too know what you mean about friends too - I am a believer of 'quality not quantity' and rather than having a large circle, I prefer the support and friendship of my few close friends.
ReplyDeleteI really connect with so much of what you write Tracey, it's so nice to connect with 'like minded' people in blogland :)