Tonight I feel profoundly sad and tired.

I got a phone call at work today, to say that my Nanna had passed away. Feel no sympathy for me, but please feel respect for her.

'Alma Jean' - loved and raised 10 children, my Mum, Denise being one of them.

My Nanna herself was one of 12 children. I used to always ask her the names of her siblings, because I was in love with their old-fashionedness - enchanted by the history and regality of them. There was: Tilly, Dorri, Kate, Lila-Theresa, Maudie, Horrace, Arthur, Albert, Donald, Eric, Roy and herself, Alma Jean. Their father died of blood poisoning when my Nanna was 7.

As a result of her death today, it was discovered that the date on her birth certificate was different by 2 days, to the actually date that she celebrated it, for the whole of her 87 years, (apparently, on account of her father registering it 2 days late).

She waved her 'favourite', young brother off to world War 2, to never see him again. Only recently the family discovered he had died as a result of his ship going down via the voyage overseas. He left behind a baby daughter, all those years ago.

My Nanna and Pa raised their 10 children on dairy farms. All of the children worked from daylight to dark. My Mum started milking cows when she was four. She would get teased at school for turning up shabby and downtrodden. Nanna ALWAYS fed the 10 children and Pa, extremely well, however. She was a beautiful and natural cook.

Due to a scholarship, Nanna and Pa's first son, grew to be a Professor of Economics and I didn't undertand the voracity of this claim until I went to Uni and saw the shelves of the library filled with his esteemed books. None of which I understood.

ALL of Nanna and Pa's children grew to be clever, kind and beautiful people - because they had the love and values of a close and special family.

The cousins, brothers, sisters and relatives are now all rallying around writing eulogies and picking songs and flowers to commemorate Nanna's life. It will be a huge family gathering on Monday at the funeral. She will bring us all together. We will all stop - regarding our jobs and our daily lives - to fly and drive and scramble from everywhere to be there.

Tonight, when I spoke to my Mum on the phone, Mum said "What are we all chasing?" Gosh - some days, certainly today - I wonder...

Tonight, I have no conclusion, I am simply tired, blue, flat and sad.

Going North and then going home to be with the family. Will be back Tuesday x o