My Knickers ....

I bought a handmade pair of knickers whilst on my trip up North!

I had to share them with you because I love the replica 50s style and fabric, complete with the sweet, little, blue bow. Apologies - the photo doesn't do them justice - poor light on a drizzly day.

I also brought home with me, the love heart, hand carved out of wood.

I love old-fashioned lingerie, I used to hang an old Can Can/lingerie costume in our bedroom - it was pure art. So delicate. I chose to do an assignment on the history of lingerie at high school. My teacher probably, secretly, quite enjoyed it!

The first lingerie that Paul ever gave me was an exquisite 2 piece ensemble in ivory and black, chantilly lace, with little ruffles on ones' bottom cheeks!

Don't get me wrong - some days I dress as quite the magpie, black bra, white knickers, or vice versa (whatever gets me out the door on time) but mostly, I love beautiful and olde worlde lingerie. I do, however, draw the line at whale bone corsetry - the poor women (and whales) of that age.

Maybe all this is something you didn't know (or perhaps didn't want to know about me) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are what you read. What are you currently reading?

I looooove airport bookshops. On my way home I came across this memoir in the airport bookshop. It is deep and poignant. It is by Joanne Fedler and it is pertinent to every woman.

Although it is called "When Hungry Eat" and it begins with Joanne's journey to shed a couple of kilos - it is not a dieting book. Thankfully, you will not find dieting advice and food plans in here!

It is an intimate and moving story of Joanne's life, her recent move from South Africa (her home country) to Sydney. She discusses the injustices of Apartheid and the fact that in Africa, a woman who carries a few extra kilos is beautiful, healthy and above all supremely lucky.

I recommend this book. I admire Joanne's moral purpose and I am loving her day to day meanderings about her kids, her hubby and her life.

My books are my friends and for this reason, I have difficulty parting with them. I hoard, admire and run my hands over their spines on the shelf. Each one reminds me of when and where I was in life, when I read them. All of my books are dog eared and have writing in the margins.

Make this book, one in your collection.

Lily Kate in the garden

My baby, playing in the garden in her good dress, getting muddy, repositioning all the fairies into different pots and riding her scooter.

TOO CONTRIVED. My Little Lord Fauntleroy.

I am trying to contrive an image of Lily to hang above our fireplace. I received a letter in the mail for a free photo session, from a local photographer.

Being Winter, I bought Lily a cream, woolen, 'Little Lord Fauntleroy' type jacket, with an ivory satin ribbon, tied in a bow, to be worn with ivory ballet shoes and an ivory dress.

Lily won't have a bar of it (the jacket, that is)! "But it's itchy Mummy!", she said. She actually pronounces it "aaatchy" (which added to the "Fantleroy-ness of the situation).

"But it goes with the 'sand' coloured frame that Mummy has", I retorted. "It matches the antique white mantel piece", I whined. I proceeded to pat her saying, "But you look like a soft, velvet rabbit in it". "And it comes with a matching woolen handbag! Please be my 'Little Lord Fauntleroy", I begged.

Lily became a very disgruntled, little customer indeed and blew up and yelled "I am not 'Little Lord Fauntleroy!" Even though she hasn't the foggiest who this actually is, she knew she was not him.

I was disappointed about the jacket and the fact that Ma may now have to fashion it into a pair of slippers - but I absolutely cracked up laughing.

Lily does florals and polka dots, floppy hats and stripy stockings so much better. That is my baby's style! She is a little, bohemian individual. Her Daddy once said with a loving smile, "Tracey, she dresses like a homeless person."

Lily picks, mixes and matches her own outfits and who else but YOU, my darling girl, can get away with spots and stripes.

Lily Kate, you are one very groovy, little monkey.

x o x

THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS.....

We all converged on our small, country ('home') town, to celebrate a beautiful life..............

Tina, Nellie, Cath B, Kerry, Drucilla G, Kerry, Fern Valley Farm, The Pattersons, Razamataz, Aunty Nat, Tasmin, Nat F, Megan T, Sally H and everyone else who sent their condolences through my blog or through letter, card, email, text or spoken word - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I will not forget your kindness and sincerity. I hope I can be there for you in times of need, crisis, celebration and joy.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by the most amazing people. I value and love you - my friends and family - so much!

The relationships that we form with people - are EVERYTHING in this short life.

Here's to a more settled week.

I am home at last!

Tracey x o

Tonight I feel profoundly sad and tired.

I got a phone call at work today, to say that my Nanna had passed away. Feel no sympathy for me, but please feel respect for her.

'Alma Jean' - loved and raised 10 children, my Mum, Denise being one of them.

My Nanna herself was one of 12 children. I used to always ask her the names of her siblings, because I was in love with their old-fashionedness - enchanted by the history and regality of them. There was: Tilly, Dorri, Kate, Lila-Theresa, Maudie, Horrace, Arthur, Albert, Donald, Eric, Roy and herself, Alma Jean. Their father died of blood poisoning when my Nanna was 7.

As a result of her death today, it was discovered that the date on her birth certificate was different by 2 days, to the actually date that she celebrated it, for the whole of her 87 years, (apparently, on account of her father registering it 2 days late).

She waved her 'favourite', young brother off to world War 2, to never see him again. Only recently the family discovered he had died as a result of his ship going down via the voyage overseas. He left behind a baby daughter, all those years ago.

My Nanna and Pa raised their 10 children on dairy farms. All of the children worked from daylight to dark. My Mum started milking cows when she was four. She would get teased at school for turning up shabby and downtrodden. Nanna ALWAYS fed the 10 children and Pa, extremely well, however. She was a beautiful and natural cook.

Due to a scholarship, Nanna and Pa's first son, grew to be a Professor of Economics and I didn't undertand the voracity of this claim until I went to Uni and saw the shelves of the library filled with his esteemed books. None of which I understood.

ALL of Nanna and Pa's children grew to be clever, kind and beautiful people - because they had the love and values of a close and special family.

The cousins, brothers, sisters and relatives are now all rallying around writing eulogies and picking songs and flowers to commemorate Nanna's life. It will be a huge family gathering on Monday at the funeral. She will bring us all together. We will all stop - regarding our jobs and our daily lives - to fly and drive and scramble from everywhere to be there.

Tonight, when I spoke to my Mum on the phone, Mum said "What are we all chasing?" Gosh - some days, certainly today - I wonder...

Tonight, I have no conclusion, I am simply tired, blue, flat and sad.

Going North and then going home to be with the family. Will be back Tuesday x o

Family Love

Last week for Lily's birthday party, my Grandma and my sister stayed for a few nights. On the first day that they were here, Paul was at work and there were 3 generations of us girls, in my home - sewing, cooking, eating and talking.

You cannot be TOTALLY comfortable in your own home with many people - but you can be with your family. That is what I loved so much about these few days. No facade, no running around cleaning up after everyone like the village idiot.

My sister had the odd nap on the lounge in betwixt us all talking (as she didn't want to miss out on anything). Trudy is an intensive care nurse, eternally getting over years of 12 hour, night shifts. Atleast that's what we think is wrong with her! He, he..

We stayed in our pjs. We pottered, had endless cups of tea and ate chocolates. I cooked and decorated Lily's birthday cake and Ma sewed me 3 tablecloths, 4 pillowcases and several pillows and beds for Lily's dollys. Lily licked the icing, mixed cake batter and helped Ma pin and fold material.

I had a corned silverside on the boil over this time - and the house smelt and felt - warm and loving.

My beautiful, Pop not long ago passed away and Lily played a song for him on the piano. Our eyes filled with tears as Lily suggested that "Poppy Bruce should have taken a mobile phone to heaven." She told me that she will take a photo phone and a dolly, when she goes up to heaven so we don't miss each other. I howl internally at the vision.

My Ma is 81. I will never, ever forget these few days we spent together last week.

I love you Ma. I love you Pop - so much...

Lily, my innocent and kind, little baby, you are my world. I want to keep you close and safe, my precious and warm little angel.

Lily is forever wanting to give all of our things away to "people who have no things". "I would like to see these people", she said last night, with conviction. "Why don't we take some cups of water to them in Africa", she said.

Lily, what a pure, little heart you have. I am so proud of you.

Love your Mummy x o

Vintage Material and a Tedious Weekend

This weekend I wrote a massive, time consuming application, organised templates for school reports and attached student names to them. It was an arduous and taxing weekend, but I kept looking at my vintage tablecloth (above) that my Ma made and I felt at peace and inspired and surrounded by love. I must have an inviting space where I work. Are you the same?

The pink fabric is also a tablecloth, as is the yellow fabric atop my 'Family Love' post. Which one do you prefer the pink, the yellow or the blue? At times when I was writing this weekend I would get distracted and think about this. I still haven't decided. I love them all.

Let's do it again tonight - one more time, with feeling !

...organise dinner, that is.

Last night there was not a lot of feeling involved - I called into our local Charcoal Chicken (the friendly folk know me by name) on my way home from work, picking up a chicken, greek salad and chips. I simply needed fuel to feed a hungry family, not a gourmet sensation.

There was not a lot of feeling involved in last Thursday night's dinner either - boiled eggs with soldiers (even though Lily cheers when I announce that this is on the menu).

Paul has touch football on a Thursday night, so Thursday is our 'easy' night of the week.

At the beginning of this week, I (alone) went shopping, hunting and gathering the week's worth of meals. [Usually Paul does the grocery shopping and half of the cooking].

It is now Friday and I am nearing the end of my list, before I once more have to plan and do it all again!

This week I planned and we ate:

Monday
Rice paper rolls with prawns, avocado, coriander, mushroom, cucumber, capsicum and dipping sauce.

* I took the left over cut up vegetables from the rice paper rolls, in a salad to work the next day.

Tuesday
I cooked spaghetti bolognaise.

Wednesday
I made sure I had enough spaghetti bolognaise to last another night.

Thursday
Charcoal Chicken

Friday
I could do my risotto? Or, there is certainly enough chicken and vegetables to make a chicken salad? Ma's slow cooked meat balls? There's a lot of love, a lot of feeling in the moulding, shaping and slow cooking of those? They are healthy and nourishing and not from a fast food outlet.

When Paul came home I had decided .

We went to our local and had a dozen oysters done 3 ways, grilled King fish with salad and chips and a chardonnay/beer in the salty air.

Tonight - I simply could not make dinner one more time, with feeling.

I could not proverbially, dutifully, rest back, chop up and think of England.

What did you plan/have this week?

What did you have tonight?

As soon as we plan tonight's meal - tomorrow night is upon us!

I am a weekend cook. Thank goodness Paul usually feeds hunts and gathers for us during the week!

Bon appetite for another night x o

Mental note to oneself - no walking at 5am: time and life and sleep far too precious..

Feeling rather blah about myself yesterday I endeavoured to fix this - so I rose at 5 this morning to go for a walk.

It was pitch, black at 5. In fact, it is almost still pitch black at 6! So dark, it was at 5, that, were there not street lights - I would not have seen a foot in front of me.

The temperature had dropped some 10 degrees below yesterday morning's temperature. The wind whistled and I felt the onset of an ear ache before I'd even stepped off our front lawn.

I felt a little hesitant even somewhat frightened as I slipped through the shadowy streets this morning. In fact, one man, silently sitting on his garden chair, having a cigarette, startled me so much that he cracked up laughing at me.

I all but planted my feet apart, made a pistol grip with my hands and pointed it at him when I noticed his darkened figure - less than 2 metres away from me.

But - he was the only man I saw on my walk. I thought I would be alone at 5 am, but no. I saw women - many women. Jogging, running, walking women !!!! They were at every turn, but not one jogging, running, walking man. Coincidence perhaps? I think not.

Skinny-minny women (many of them mothers no doubt - young Mums too) were out and about risking their safety, sacrificing sleep, feigning enjoyment, mustering motivation to ..........feel............half decent about themselves in front of men and possibly (more particularly) in front of other women and dare I say - in front of themselves and the mirror.

Tomorrow morning - I will be sleeping in.

When my grandma came to stay this week she said " I am 81 - and I will eat what I bloody well like!"

Mother's Day morning at our place...x o x

I awoke to fresh flowers on the table and a passion fruit, scented candle x o x HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!



Thank goodness for Mother's Day!

Mother's Day morning at our place x o Sun shining, literally - birds singing...

Note the Kale in the posie - what a beautiful colour!

Mother's Day morning at our place

Mother's Day morning at our place x o

Our lady, Lucy sitiing on HER chair. All but taking toast and tea, on this very fine morning.

Mother's Day morning on the deck

I had my coffee on the deck, in the sunshine this morning - with our puppies. We call them both puppies but they are in fact nearing retirement, with quite a bit of age behind them. Frodo particularly, is a very large dog.

I had to feed him a lot of cheese to get this shot.

He is frightened of the camera - however, cheese is his favourite food and he will DO ANYTHING FOR IT.

Mother's Day - Picnic Lunch at Patonga

We picnicked on home cooked (by moi) corned beef and pickle sandwiches (choko pickles, made with love by my Mum).

I took the thermos and had a cup of tea.

We picked at dips and bickies.

By the way - yay - I did get the 'Good Life' series on DVD - intending on watching this evening, with a red wine.

Mother's Day or Kid's Day ??? Scroll to next pages too. Posted 4 more new blog posts!

Mother's Day always revolves around play equipment and bike riding - at least at some point during the day. Gotta keep the troops eternally happy!

A truly bloggable and memorable day x o


Such sensational sunshine in May.

The end of the big day out...

At the end of Mother's Day, the picnic and bike ride - it proved all too much for Lil. Mummy pushed the bike back and Lily cuddled into Paul.

Thanks you guys, for taking me to Patonga - I had a beautiful, relaxing, sunny day x o

Tell me, I would LOVE to know - how did you spend your Mother's Day from beginning to end??????

Lily's 5th Birthday Party - 'The Pool Party Cake'

This year, I was of sound mind and as such, thinking realistically and sensibly - we went off site for the 5th birthday party - so all I had to do was make the cake.

Lily chose the 'Pool Party Cake' from the 1970's version of the 'Women's Weekly Birthday Cake Cook Book' - the book that takes all of us adults, for a beautiful walk down memory lane.

This book (having been left lying around at our place this week) has sparked enthusiasm from everyone who has happened to pick it up. Each person, more excited than the next!

My sister went through it pointing out the cakes that she had as a child. Paul and I did the same, and at Lily's party today, so many people identified with the beloved 'Pool Party Cake' from the original Women's Weekly Birthday Cake Cook Book'.

The cakes that people said they picked and loved best (from all those years ago) - said so much about their personality. It was fascinating. The boys or rather the men (and now fathers), as involved in the conversation as the women. It seems that the memory of having a slab of sponge turned into a cricket pitch, never fades.

Mum gave me the copy of the very book that she used to bake our cakes when we were kids, complete with splatters of batter stains and drops of icing.

I have written beside each cake that Lily has chosen, the age she turned when she chose each cake. And this year, my little water baby chose the 'pool' cake.

What was your favourite childhood birthday cake ?????????????

Confessions of a slightly frazzled, often overwhelmed and increasingly busy - REAL, LIVE WOMAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This post, I write in salutation to my friend, Cath and all of the other women I know who are like this on a daily basis.

Cath and I sat down in the staff room today (slowly surrounded by other interested women). Cath said to me "I have been cleaning top-to-bottom, a total overhaul of my home!"

I told her I had done the very same thing on the weekend (thus no blogging) and I was horrified by the amount of dust, fluff and filth that I had found!

Cath replied with, "Really, you too?"

Cath then proceeded to put her pointer and thumb in the air, in somewhat of a pincer grip, demonstrating the centimetres of dust that she discovered behind her bedside table.

I sat there and nodded, feeling terribly guilty about the last time that I actually checked behind my beside table - perhaps when the new furniture was put in 2 years ago? ?

Cath's house is immaculate. It is called 'Seaside' and is literally, seaside. It is open, modern, refined, clean and magazine-worthy. It is a dream home.

However, Cath said, "but Tracey, do you know, what caused me to start on a mad, cleaning rampage?"

I replied, "No, what?"

Cath said - "Your blog! You posted that photograph of your fireplace and the adjacent bookshelves and I thought, I need to get myself organised and I need furniture and shelves and order..."

I said - "Cath, I may have posted a photograph of my fireplace, complete with adjacent book shelf, with books ordered tallest to shortest - but on that particular day, I should have photographed and posted the dishes in the sink, piled so high, that I could hardly see out the window !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And another confessional thing, bloggers-

I NEVER make ours or Lily's bed, except on my days off.

This prompted Lily to say recently, "Mum, I love it when you do that thing with my bed!"

"Oh - you mean make it?"

"Yeah - that!"

Cath and my hard working, amazingly intelligent, talented, capable, multi-tasking and gorgeous, female friends - I HOPE THAT MAKES YOU ALL FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER.

Post Script: Cath & friends - you will notice that there is no photo this evening, on account that I just got home after a meeting and I simply have not had time to scratch myself today.

Cheers, love you all x o x Let's go easy on ourselves and each other x o x Tracey